Nothing Left to Live For by RoryMichaelGranger

Rating: NC17
Genres: Angst
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 23/09/2009
Last Updated: 23/09/2009
Status: In Progress

Post DH Fic, picks up at Hogwarts before and ignoring Epiloge. Harry finds himself depressed
searching for his place in life in a post war world. Does a hero who has served his purpose have
anything left to give?




1. untitled
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Nothing Left to Live For

Ch. 1- I Served My Purpose- Now Let me Die.

AN- Well I’ve decided to attempt writing again, mainly cause this idea is stuck in my head. With
any luck I’ll also do some updating for my other fic as well. The idea for this story comes from
real life. As I’m right now searching for a reason to keep going every day. This chapter is written
in Harry’s point of view. Hope you enjoy.

Misery.

I sit here in misery while those around me are elated at the fall of Lord Voldemort. Hermione
doesn’t get it, she keeps telling me I’m free to live my own life again. No more prophecy hanging
over my head, no sadistic bastard chasing after me forcing me to cautiously check ever corner I
turn. But what life do I have to live? I’ve served my purpose. If I was thinking straight at the
time I think I would have gotten on the train at King’s Cross with Dumbledore and headed into the
afterlife. But no Harry Potter can’t do that and leave his friends to deal with Voldemort cause he
has this stupid fucking saving people thing.

Ron expects me to go running back to Ginny, be a nice happy couple, just like he thinks he and
Hermione will be. I’ve been down that road and honestly so has about 80% of the male population of
Hogwarts. Of course Ron doesn’t know his sisters the sluttiest witch of her age. Hell I didn’t find
out until the second week of our “relationship”. I should have seen it after the Quidditch cup
celebration.

*****

*“Come on Harry I want to show you something special.”, Those were the words she used as she
took me to the room of requirement. I should have been suspicious then and there but I was
overwhelmed with joy that Ginny had returned my feelings. I let her summon the room so that it
would meet her needs, and again I missed the major clue to Ginny’s promiscuous ways.*

*We entered the room to a large and comfortable looking bed, draped in Gryffindor red and
gold. The bedding was silk, and before I knew it Ginny had thrown me back on it.*

*“Well Harry its just you, me, some candles and this big empty bed. What ever shall we do.”,
Ginny asked in a seductive tone. I was stunned and silent, this was a side of Ginny I didn’t
realize existed. My brain wasn’t functioning or I’d have wondered how many of her previous
boyfriends had seen this very room.*

*“Hmm, I think I have a few ideas Harry. Only I’m all sweaty from the Quidditch match, why
don’t you wait a minute so I can grab a quick shower.”, Ginny said as she sashayed away. I was
stunned at the over exaggerated wiggle in Ginny’s hip. The seductive red head struck me silent and
sent all blood coursing south when she dropped her pants giving a clear view of her backside before
slipping through an unnoticed door.*

I should have seen it then, it was all too well practiced. Yet I still didn’t notice, perhaps I
was dumbstruck seeing a naked girl for the first time in my life. Especially one I had developed
feelings for. My mind was racing with various ideas and fantasies. I was about to lose my
virginity.

*“So Harry, do you like what you see?”, Ginny asked drawing my attention back to the door she
went through moments before. She stood there in an extremely short sheer pink baby doll. The light
pink made her hair dance with flames. Just visible through the top were the darker red nubs of her
nipples. What remaining blood that hadn’t gone immediately to my member at the sight of her
backside went immediately there. Ginny stretched and patch of red curls showed just beneath the hem
of her top. It was at that point that I blacked out.*

*When I came to I was lying in the bed wrapped in the silk sheets. I was wearing less then I
had on when I came into the room.*

*“I decided to undress you so you’d be more comfortable.”, It was Ginny’s voice whispering
softly in my ear. Her hand traveled down my chest before resting on the bulge in my underwear. “Of
course with so much stuffed in these tiny boxers maybe we should get rid of them and make you
really comfortable.”*

*She didn’t wait for a reply as she worked my boxers to my knees leaving me full exposed. I
didn’t know what had come over her, an hour ago we shared a kiss in full view of the common room
next thing I know we’re lying naked in bed together. Well nearly naked she was still clad in her
barely there teddy.*

*“Ginny stop it.” I protested, pulling the sheets across myself to try to regain some
modesty.*

*“What don’t you want me?”, She pouted.*

*“Not like this, your throwing yourself at me like some easy fan girl just trying to get into
the “Boy Who Lived” pants. Its disgusting.”, I told her as I rolled out of her grip and began
searching for my clothes.*

*“Are you serious? All the guys before you melted when I did this for them and your getting
dressed? What are you a queer?”, She asked. Their was hurt in her voice at being turned down, but
their was also anger.*

*I sighed, “I’m serious and no I’m certainly not gay. Is there something wrong with taking
time before you jump right into bed. And what did you mean all the other guys, just how many other
guys have you done this for?”*

*“What does it matter how many I did this with, I’m doing it for you now. They were all
practice.”, Ginny said reaching out for me as I pulled my jeans on. “Please I want you.”*

*“How many?”, I asked. Though I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.*

*Ginny thought for a moment before replying, “Eight.”*

*“Eight? Ginny you’ve shagged eight guys? You realize that pretty much makes you a slut.” I
told her in disgust.*

*“Well if eight makes me a slut then the six I didn’t bring in here makes me the Hogwarts
Broom. At least that’s what most the boys call me.”, She told me.*

*“Hogwarts broom?”, I asked confused.*

*She smirked, a glimmer of pride in her eyes as she said, “Every boy in school’s ridden
me.”*

*I coughed in disgust, “Your proud of that fact? You’re a sick person Gin, you need
help.”*

*“I don’t need help, I need cock, now stop bitching and come fuck me or I’ll go get Dean to
take care of me again.”, I could tell she was being serious and not just taunting me.*

*It was all I could handle, I started to walk out. I told her we were over, and for the most
part we were. She begged me to wait, asked me to help her save her reputation some. I doubt our
month of dating did anything, we were seen snogging every so often just to make it appear real. It
was empty and hollow though and I had finally had enough the night Dumbledore died. I told her at
the funeral that I couldn’t do it anymore, she accepted without a fight.*

****

Sorry Ron I won’t be running back to Ginny and giving Molly the big happy Weasley family she
wants. And that brings me back to square one, I’ve got nothing to live for, at least not in the
wizarding world. How can I find love and sincerity in the wizarding world now that I’m a hero. I’ll
be hounded by fan girls at every turn. I keep wishing more and more that Voldemort finished the
job. I’m sure someone else would have been able to kill him once I destroyed the horcruxes. I could
always convert some galleons into pounds and hide out in muggle London for a few years. Take the
time to find myself and my reason to live.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding out.”, A voice called out breaking my train of thought. I
turned to see Hermione.

“Oh hey.”, I replied before turning my head back down to my shoe laces.

“Oh hey, is that the best I can get?”, She asked as she took a seat next to me. “You know its
raining out here, I’m sure it be more comfortable to brood indoors.”

“How’d you know where I was?”, I asked. It was no point arguing her brooding remark.

“Hmmm all the world’s celebrating and Harry’s no where to be found. Lets think about where he
runs. Well we’re at Hogwarts after what happened last night I would think the room of requirements
is out. You’d avoid Hogsmeade because the celebration. The Great Hall is filled with families, and
Hagrid and Grawp are repairing Hagrid’s hut. Common sense says you’d come to Dumbledore’s tomb. But
the question isn‘t where are you, it’s why are you here?” I hate when Hermione is right. And she
systematically broke down my thinking to find where I’d be. She probably came here first.

“Well didn’t you already state why I was here, I’m brooding.”, I answered her.

“What about, the weight of the world is off your shoulders, you finally get to live your life
again.”, She said with a bit of glee in her voice.

“What life? What purpose? I never thought about living to see this day, where do I go from
here?”, I asked her.

“Where ever you want to go, just make sure you take me with you.”, Hermione replied giving me a
hug.

“I love you Mione, your always there for me.”, I told her leaning into the hug.

“I love you too Harry, and I always will be here for you, even if I have to hunt you down. Ron
will too.” Hermione said lifting herself off the ground. “Come on he’s waiting for us.”

“Great I get to play third wheel.”, I grumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing Mione, lead the way.” With that I followed my friend of 7 years into the next phase of
life, one I still wasn’t sure I had meaning in.

AN- This is shorter then I wanted but its really just a set up.



